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Back to Life

8 Jun

How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know
This weakness I feel I must finally show

Awake My Soul – Mumford & Sons

I blame my job.

Lately, focusing on anything creative seems impossible, and it’s downright depressing when I compare my creative output now to how expressive I was during my unemployment stint last year.

It’s a wonderful job though, and I should never complain.

White collar? Yes.

Medical? Yes.

The perks? Goodness!

It’s not like my job is 24/7. I’d say it’s more like 12/6, and it’s hard for me to be intentional with my writing. At the end of my work days, I’m exhausted and just want to numb my brain with TV or online social networks.

So yeah…This two month drought of blogging, writing, and vlogging has been a perpetual guilt trip in my gut for a few reasons.

  1. I feel like I’ve lost “it.” “It” being anything such as profound insight, sound reasoning, or  creative expression.
  2. This leads into a “I have nothing valuable to share so my life must be so…boring” self-evaluation.
  3. Which concludes the overall opinion about myself “The messenger is dead.” Well not dead, probably just sleepy or slothful. No. wait. Here’s one: APATHETIC.

Solution? Awake the messenger, and revitalize him.

But how?

  • Remind him of the things he’s passionate.
  • Tell him to be himself. People will ridicule, disagree, or treasure, but that shouldn’t make him shy away.
  • Also, tell him to surround himself with wise and creative counsel. Prolonged isolation can be dangerous.
  • Sit down and be proactively express.
  • Share this blog post…

 

 

Down for the Count

11 Apr

People always say “Count your blessings.”

Yes. Do it. You just might be overwhelmed by how much good there is in your life.

Every day our emotions are elicited by world events, social drama, and pop culture. These things can chip away at us, distorting our identity and convictions, but how many elements out there actually build us up and hold us together?

Counting our blessings helps us stay anchored. You’ll be surprised that sometimes it only takes a few good things to keep hope alive in order to outweigh the brokenness in this world.

Paul, the apostle, writes how we shouldn’t worry about anything but should give our problems up to God. Paul then continues with:

Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.

Philippians 4:8 (NIV)

People also say “Be thankful.”

Yes. Do this too. In the midst of our thankfulness, we can actually give. We often forget this.

Freely you have received, freely give. – Jesus Christ

We get so caught up in “I’m thankful for this. I’m thankful for that. Wow, I’m so blessed.” And it stops there. We do nothing but say that we’re thankful, and we take no action to show that we are. We don’t pay it forward or give back. Such an opportunity to impact lives here! Imagine the actions driven by the gratitude and passion…

So when you’re feeling down, up, or leveled, settle down and take the time to literally count your blessings. As a result, being thankful should come naturally. But don’t let it stop there when you can actually give in thanks.

Twitter Text Ten

24 Mar

It was just two weeks ago when every news source, media outlet, and social network had Japan in its headlines and ticker. I can already feel the level of urgency to help Japan dwindle as we get caught in the whirlpool of other world affairs and entertainment scandals.

As I’ve been using Twitter as a news source for the latest headlines and opinions, these are the tweets of others that impacted me the most in regards to the crises in Japan, urging me to support and continually pray for Japan.

Private Profile
Modern technology allows us to be exposed to suffering all over the world; may our generation, in turn, become the most compassionate. (March 13)

Jason Pollock @Jason_Pollock Japan is already out of the trending topics. It’s amazing how short our society’s attention span has become. #DonateJapan (March 15)

Japan Photos @JapanPhotos DO NOT send money to Christian charities for Japan earthquake. We need blankets and food, not boxes of bibles & Fundamentalist propaganda. (March 11)

When I first read the tweet from @JapanPhotos, I was offended, but then I just had to shake my head and laugh in absurdity. Yes, though I am a Christian, sadly a lot of religious organizations exploit situations like these and waste resources while people are in need. So I’ll just leave it at that.

I’ve marked these tweets as “favorites” as reminders that Japan and many other countries are in need of prayer and support, and it doesn’t take much out of us to help.

We have so much here in America, and our resources are so accessible with today’s technology.

If you text often, here are a couple of easy ways you can still contribute

 

1) Text REDCROSS to 90999 to Give $10
Japan Earthquake and Pacific Tsunami

2) Text TSUNAMI to 50555 to donate $10 to Convoy of Hope’s Disaster Response Efforts

It takes less than a minute and costs little compared to what we spend on entertainment in a week.

So if you’ve already given to another organization or are planning to give then that’s great! If you’ve been meaning to get around to it, but need some direction, here’s your chance!

Just follow the directions above (and below).

 

 

 

 

No Words

17 Mar

This past Sunday, while hanging out in the coffee shop at my church, I read to my peers the latest tweets from my Twitter feed regarding the tragedy in Japan. An elderly woman whom one can assume to be in her 60′s or 70′s listened intently as she hovered around us and mixed her sweeteners and cream into her brew. To our surprise, the elderly woman interjected with:

“Well they (Japan/the Japanese) deserve it after sneaking up on us 70 years ago at Pearl Harbor… This is what they get.”

::NO WORDS::

Yes, it was silent for a several seconds with our mouths to the floor from the disbelief. It was like the “spirit of Pat Robertson” all over again.

Someone broke the silence with “I’m not even going to get into this right now,” trying to show self-control by diverting their attention to their cell phone.

I responded with a snowballing “Rrrreally?? Umm…This has NOTHING to do with anything that happened seventy years ago, and it’s actually quite tragic, and NO ONE deserves to be going through any of this right now…”

That’s all I could say as I found my voice rising, my vision blurring, my head and hands becoming hot, and my body inching towards the ignorance personified before me. My heart rate increased. My blood boiled, but I had to remember my place and behave rationally.

I was surprised that she didn’t bring God into the picture with us being at church and all. If she did, I probably would’ve ended up in prison…or on the news…not really…but yeah….no…

In situations like this elderly lady and her view on why Japan got what it “deserved,” it takes a lot to not jump down someone’s throat, fingernails first. I’m wondering what kind of ignorance is going on out there right now because when tragedy hits, people are so quick to point and blame, hindering help and healing. Though this situation still haunts me, reminding me of the mess Pat Robertson left last year his comments about Haiti, I know that I have forgiven her. It wasn’t easy. Heck, she’s set in her ways in her 60′s or 70′s, and who knows what she has experienced? She’s been corrected, and it’s between her and her Creator now.

I mean if you were in that coffee shop with me, what would you have done or said to her? Nothing? Anything?

 

 


Urine Trouble

17 Feb

It was one of those “A-HA!” moments that I just had to share.

When I first saw the design of this bathroom I thought: WHY would they put privacy dividers between each urinal with the exception of the kids’ one?  Seems pretty inappropriately designed! FAIL.

As I humored myself while rocking on my high-horse, I thought that at any moment someone could’ve walked in on me in a men’s public restroom taking pictures of urinals thinking: What kind of pervert takes pictures in a public restroom?

Lesson learned: Don’t be so quick to judge.

Another Year

31 Dec

“Everything happens for a reason.”

Hmmm. Based on my experiences this year, I’d say that some things happen for a reason, but not all things.

There are certain things in life that may never be explained or comprehended, leaving humanity always asking “Why?”

But in the question lies the quest, and in that quest is a hope. We strive for redemption, a new chance at things; a new outlook. We keep striving.

Though 2010 was tough for many of us with a lack of work, health, relationships, we have all experience growth in one way or another.

So I challenge you to reflect on the year, and be honest with yourself on how much you have learned about yourself and others. You are still here, surviving and making headway to reason and purpose.

So here’s to another year, 2011. Things happen for a reason, most you have control over and some you don’t. Let’s take advantage of the things we have control over and make the most of them. CHEERS!

Pedestal

30 Dec

(Originally ‘Long Hard Fall’)

When our  celebrities, pastors, musicians, leaders, idols let us down, when they mess up, when they’re scandalous, we go into shock. Some people become numb, some in denial, and others get angry.

Whatever the reaction, I can’t help but conclude that the reason we respond so drastically is because of the long drastic fall of the people we look up to.

I repeat. “…look UP to.” Most of the time, we are the ones who put them so high up on the pedestal, not filtering the difference between respect and naivety.

How do we fight the naivety? Have a standard or a measure for values. If your favorite band, celebrity, politician, pastor, or whomever doesn’t hit the mark, measure to the standard and filter out the unnecessary.

As for me, my standard is based on my family upbringing and constant growth in my knowledge of the Bible. The principles line up and make sense to what’s relevant in life.

So when people fall or fail in my personal life or in the public eye, I have a better understanding and empathy. We’re all human, and just because one is in the public eye it doesn’t mean he or she should be condemned faster than the rest of the world. We’ve all fallen short of glory both publicly and privately.

I just thank God for mercy, grace, and second chances and third chances and fourth…and fifth…and sixth…

That’s where the respect comes in: Admitting to wrongs and messing up. It’s called accountability. It saddens me when these people in “high places” have these huge scandals that build up because they let one little white lie snowball into something almost unfixable spilling into the mass media’s pool of vultures. So be sure to have someone who you can go to in order to keep you in check. It preserves your life.

The phrase “nipping it in the bud” comes to mind” in terms of accountability. Stop it before it stops. That’s respect. No naivety. No pedestal. No long hard drastic fall. No disappointment.

The Other Side

13 Dec

While fueling my car during my lunch break, I saw man in a dress shirt, sweatpants, and non-branded worn-out tennis shoes out of the corner of my eye approaching me with an empty red gasoline container.

Humbly, the man opened up, “Excuse me, sir. Can you lend me any spare change for a some gas? My truck just ran out of gas right in this parking lot, and I have no money to get it going again.”

Of course I was skeptical and hesitant, wondering what kind of street hustler and swindler this guy was. In the end, I decided it’s not for me to judge. If he’s a liar then it’s his bad and not my sincerity.

I told the man to give me a second as I put the gas pump back in its place from my car’s tank. I walked to my car to see what change I had in my car as I had no cash in my wallet.

I asked the him “How about I just fill up your gas container you have in your hand there?”

He replied “Oh yeah! That’d be perfect! Thank you so much.”

As we filled the the container, I went on to ask him how he ended up where we were.

He told me “I’ve been unemployed working odd jobs here and there. I do whatever I can to survive…”

:This next part caused me to write:

“…this month. While everyone else is out there Christmas shopping, I have no money. December is just a hard month.”

There was a moment when he asked what I did for a living. He said that I looked “sharp” in my shirt and tie, and immediately my heart sank.

He thanked me for the gasoline, and we parted ways. I looked at the dollar amount it took to fill his gas container: $8.39. Convinced this wasn’t enough, I drove to the area where his truck was parked, but I could not find him or his truck.

I don’t know why I didn’t ask him if he needed anything else. Maybe I was heartbroken and in shock. Maybe I was preoccupied with a self-check moment of how much I’ve been involved with the material and comfort of the holiday season and ignorant about those who have nothing and no one. I forget so easily about this harsh reality.

I thought about the song “It’s the Most Wonderful Time of the Year,”  and YEAH it is, if we have the luxuries the song describes.

But here’s the other side: This is the worst time of the year for many.

There’s nothing wrong with being thankful for what we have, but let’s not allow our joy and comfort to stop us from giving.

Moreover, as freely we have been given, so freely we should give.

Comfort and Joy

12 Dec

SO…It’s the holiday season, and Christmas songs are currently playing everywhere you go. We sing them so flippantly and melodically. It’s almost automatic.

As I was driving in my car a couple of days ago, God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen was playing on a cd in my car, and I actually took the time to think about the lyrics “…oohh tidings of comfort and joy.”

Comfort and joy…is exactly what I need to hear right now as my migraines and neurological issues are constantly robbing me of my peace.

Comfort and joy…in the fact that God is always there for me no matter where I am.

Comfort and joy…in knowing that my life is full of blessings, and that I cannot sacrifice enough for the sake others.

Comfort and joy…in believing that I have a purpose that goes beyond my own life.

Comfort and joy…in Jesus.

I love Sarah McLachlan’s voice in this Barenaked Ladies’ folky bluegrass version of God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen:

Have a listen.

New Orleans

14 Nov

I recently returned from a two-week business trip to New Orleans. The one free weekend we had there held Halloween, Voodoo Music Festival and the Saints/Steelers NFL game. It was crowded and chaotic all weekend, and I’m glad that my newly found co-worker buddies and I got to experience it the way we did. I would definitely revisit New Orleans!

Jazz Band on a corner of Frenchman

"Spontaneous band combustion" everywhere you go in N.O.

Bourbon Street Halloween Night

Greenwood Cemetery

My observations and experience in the city had me excited at first, but upon leaving, I was honestly heartbroken and even empty. I fell in love with the city but as the two weeks panned out, I began to distance myself as there ended up being eight known murders. I asked myself: “There has to be more to New Orleans than ‘this’ right?”
Taken from my hotel window in Metairie

I Wish I Knew

Was there light before dark?

Spirit before flesh?

Love before lust?

I wish I knew you

Before she drowned your heart

Scattered your seed

leaving you half empty

Now what is left?

What is your identity

when all I hear is ‘Who dat?’

I wish I knew you

So much history, culture, music,

soul

Does anyone know that part?

Did she take it away?

Maybe she added one more battle scar to be blue

I wish I knew you

before saints were more than just a team in a dome

Before citizens were without guilt by association with the name of a city

without infamous renown

Louis Armstrong sang it loud

played it proud

Oh how he’d want them saints to come marching in

and come back home

Maybe one day

Who knows?

I wish I knew.

You have more to offer than shiny plastic beads

voodoo magic

hand grenade drinks

soul-food eats

and unwarranted streets

Your people have to come back to more than this

What hope do they have in you?

Somebody tell me what is hope for New Orleans

I wish I knew.

– Marlon Reynoso


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