How fickle my heart and how woozy my eyes
I struggle to find any truth in your lies
And now my heart stumbles on things I don’t know
This weakness I feel I must finally show
Awake My Soul – Mumford & Sons
I blame my job.
Lately, focusing on anything creative seems impossible, and it’s downright depressing when I compare my creative output now to how expressive I was during my unemployment stint last year.
It’s a wonderful job though, and I should never complain.
White collar? Yes.
The perks? Goodness!
It’s not like my job is 24/7. I’d say it’s more like 12/6, and it’s hard for me to be intentional with my writing. At the end of my work days, I’m exhausted and just want to numb my brain with TV or online social networks.
So yeah…This two month drought of blogging, writing, and vlogging has been a perpetual guilt trip in my gut for a few reasons.
- I feel like I’ve lost “it.” “It” being anything such as profound insight, sound reasoning, or creative expression.
- This leads into a “I have nothing valuable to share so my life must be so…boring” self-evaluation.
- Which concludes the overall opinion about myself “The messenger is dead.” Well not dead, probably just sleepy or slothful. No. wait. Here’s one: APATHETIC.
Solution? Awake the messenger, and revitalize him.
- Remind him of the things he’s passionate.
- Tell him to be himself. People will ridicule, disagree, or treasure, but that shouldn’t make him shy away.
- Also, tell him to surround himself with wise and creative counsel. Prolonged isolation can be dangerous.
- Sit down and be proactively express.
- Share this blog post…